Long Term Marriages a Thing of the Past?
“Til death do us part?” Since the dawn of time this vow is in virtually all weddings. But is it just words?
I often look at the local newspaper and see the anniversary announcements of 50 and 75 year marriages. I myself have just past the 26 year mark so I certainly have a long way to go for that milestone. But think about that. Literally “Til death do us part.” Marriage is not a test run or just something for you to do. It’s a lifelong commitment of two souls joined in matrimony.
People change with age and circumstance. The person that you marry today will not be the same 25, 50 or 75 years from now. That’s why you have to grow your marriage together. It’s a job in itself and something that you have to work at everyday of your lives together. There are bad days and there are good days but the end result is that you have to work through it together.
Let’s be clear. There are certain circumstances of infidelity and abusive relationships that in fact end up in divorce. No one, male or female, should be expected to stick around in an abusive relationship. For anyone in a mentally or physically abusive relationship the first thing to do is get OUT! Check with your local government for help or simply call the police. Go to www.thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for information on how to get help.
By and large the majority of marriages start out as one big long date. That’s for all of you 5 year olds out there. As you grow you’ll find that the best friend that you have is your significant other. You both learn each other’s habits, likes and dislikes and eventually will start to anticipate each other’s thoughts, moods and desires.
There’s a simple formula for long term marriage. Bend but don’t break. You’re still you and you have a right to live your own life but you still have to consider your soul mate. Would he or she really appreciate you going out after work with your friends all of the time instead of spending time together?
Mutual compromise is the key to a happy marriage. Don’t impose your own wants and desires over that of your spouse. That’s why man invented the man cave, the fortress of solitude for all men to regain their manhood in a realm of peace. This formula is for both husband and wife. It takes two to make it work and both of you have to be on the same page.
Romance is a very important part of keeping your relationship hungry. Fellows, flowers go a long way. They not only say that you care but women really love beautiful things. Gals, make sure to build your husband’s ego. Men are like little boys all grown up. They like to be first across the finish line and hit the most homeruns. They like to be the best looking and the apple of your eye.
Make sure you have date night when you have kids. Go out to dinner and a movie once a week. Go out for a walk or watch of movie at home. The key is doing something together. Taking care of the kids is tough in today’s society of working parents. That’s why it is important to have quality time together. There was just the two of you before the kids came along. That’s something that is very important and should never simply disappear after bringing children in the world. Kids are a whole different subject that I dare not get into now lest I spark an eternal flame.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment folks. It’s not just something that you can do on a whim. Before making the decision just because it feels warm and fuzzy make sure that the two of you understand that it’s “Til death do us part.” Not “til I get tired of being married.”